This guy, a suburban fireman, barked at my toddler for touching the curtain that covers the guts of a large train garden at the local firehouse. Mind you, he didn’t pull it, wrench it, take a piss on it – no. He touched it. So this bald fucker yells, literally yells, at my kid. Like a wimp, I didn’t kick him in the stomach while he sat there frowning at happy children. Instead, I drew a mean picture of him and let him watch. I didn’t say shit to him, and he didn’t stand up to a grownup with hair. We each went home intact.
(I’m not saying where it was. If you think it was you and your house and Big Fucking Toy Train Table, you were probably mean to someone. Go put your head in the toilet, and count to ten.)