Mommy is Pissed.

no_backtalk

It’s always funny when people who pretend to be so even-tempered lose their shit. Have you ever been in the middle of a Bit of Temper or even a Someone Shit in My Cereal Tantrum when some Zen Motherfucker steps in and tells you to calm down…to get some perspective…take a walk…have a drink…? Like they have such a handle on calming down like the dimmer on the lights in your dining room. Like emotional and/or mental states just get fixed. Like they never get mad and yell.

“I never yell.”

Bullshit. Everyone yells. Everyone loses their shit.

And, sometimes, there is actual fist-shaking. Just like in the movies!

(Pentel Sign Pen [the pigmented version] in a Field Notes Snowblind edition.)

Chocolate World.

My wife proposed a trip to Chocolate World one recent weekend. The thought of hours in the car to go see chocolate seemed odd to me. I pictured this (above) and stayed home drawing instead.

Before you think of going, bear in mind that this place is free because there’s little to do there but buy chocolate. Not good chocolate, either. Save your gas. Buy some chocolate at Target and have money left for pens and notebooks. Then you can draw badly and have a website. Just. Like. Me.

(Pentel Sign Pen in Field Notes Snowblind edition.)

Firehouse Asshole.

firehouse_asshole

This guy, a suburban fireman, barked at my toddler for touching the curtain that covers the guts of a large train garden at the local firehouse. Mind you, he didn’t pull it, wrench it, take a piss on it – no. He touched it. So this bald fucker yells, literally yells, at my kid. Like a wimp, I didn’t kick him in the stomach while he sat there frowning at happy children. Instead, I drew a mean picture of him and let him watch. I didn’t say shit to him, and he didn’t stand up to a grownup with hair. We each went home intact.

(I’m not saying where it was. If you think it was you and your house and Big Fucking Toy Train Table, you were probably mean to someone. Go put your head in the toilet, and count to ten.)