The Day the Binkies Went Away.

kraft_binky_boyIGI got my toddler off of binkies lately. It took an hour. A tense fucking hour. Previously, he was generally Binked Out and learned to talk through these things. But then he kept biting them apart. And he has expensive binky taste. So I reasoned with him:

binkies_went_away

Me: Dude. The binkies are gone. But now you can have food and crayons, and I won’t lock you in the bathroom in the dark.
Him: Fuck you, Daddy. Gimme. Iwantmybinky!
Me: No. Pay attention.
Him: No.
Me: Hey! Listen to Daddy!
Him: Fuck you, awhol.
Me: What did you call me?
Him: Daddy, you listen!
Me: Okay, so the binkies are all gone. Sorry, dude. Blame Mommmy.
Him: [Growl]
HIGH FIVE!

Now the binkies are gone, and he won’t. stop. talking. in the car.

First image: Pentel Sign Pen brush tip in Field Notes Snowblind edition.

Second image: Pentel Sign Pen and Forest Choice colored pencils in Kraft Field Notes.

Your Weekend Wakeup.

I love my kids. I really do. I love how they like to read and color and sing and yell and laugh and generally raise hell and kick ass. I especially love when they wake up at the same time on weekends as we do during the week. Who needs the sun? Not me! Can they make Daddy some fucking coffee? Shit no!

I think it’s part of a larger conspiracy to make sure the family doesn’t grow. After all, badly rested parents can’t do that thing that makes more babies, right? Or, it’s harder more difficult, at least.

(Mitsubishi Penmanship pencil, 4B, in some kind of Field Notes.)

Mommy is Pissed.

no_backtalk

It’s always funny when people who pretend to be so even-tempered lose their shit. Have you ever been in the middle of a Bit of Temper or even a Someone Shit in My Cereal Tantrum when some Zen Motherfucker steps in and tells you to calm down…to get some perspective…take a walk…have a drink…? Like they have such a handle on calming down like the dimmer on the lights in your dining room. Like emotional and/or mental states just get fixed. Like they never get mad and yell.

“I never yell.”

Bullshit. Everyone yells. Everyone loses their shit.

And, sometimes, there is actual fist-shaking. Just like in the movies!

(Pentel Sign Pen [the pigmented version] in a Field Notes Snowblind edition.)