I got my toddler off of binkies lately. It took an hour. A tense fucking hour. Previously, he was generally Binked Out and learned to talk through these things. But then he kept biting them apart. And he has expensive binky taste. So I reasoned with him:
Me: Dude. The binkies are gone. But now you can have food and crayons, and I won’t lock you in the bathroom in the dark.
Him: Fuck you, Daddy. Gimme. Iwantmybinky!
Me: No. Pay attention.
Me: Hey! Listen to Daddy!
Him: Fuck you, awhol.
Me: What did you call me?
Him: Daddy, you listen!
Me: Okay, so the binkies are all gone. Sorry, dude. Blame Mommmy.
Now the binkies are gone, and he won’t. stop. talking. in the car.
First image: Pentel Sign Pen brush tip in Field Notes Snowblind edition.
Second image: Pentel Sign Pen and Forest Choice colored pencils in Kraft Field Notes.
My son, a toddler, called me an asshole when I was making coffee one morning a few weeks ago.
(Probably Pentel Sign Pen on some kind of Field Notes. I forget. Do you care?)
It’s always funny when people who pretend to be so even-tempered lose their shit. Have you ever been in the middle of a Bit of Temper or even a Someone Shit in My Cereal Tantrum when some Zen Motherfucker steps in and tells you to calm down…to get some perspective…take a walk…have a drink…? Like they have such a handle on calming down like the dimmer on the lights in your dining room. Like emotional and/or mental states just get fixed. Like they never get mad and yell.
“I never yell.”
Bullshit. Everyone yells. Everyone loses their shit.
And, sometimes, there is actual fist-shaking. Just like in the movies!
(Pentel Sign Pen [the pigmented version] in a Field Notes Snowblind edition.)
My wife proposed a trip to Chocolate World one recent weekend. The thought of hours in the car to go see chocolate seemed odd to me. I pictured this (above) and stayed home drawing instead.
Before you think of going, bear in mind that this place is free because there’s little to do there but buy chocolate. Not good chocolate, either. Save your gas. Buy some chocolate at Target and have money left for pens and notebooks. Then you can draw badly and have a website. Just. Like. Me.
(Pentel Sign Pen in Field Notes Snowblind edition.)
My son goes fucking bonkers for trains. I have seriously never seen a human being in my life who is more fixated on anything. And that includes teenaged/young/all men who are fixated on getting laid most of their lives.
(Pentel Sign Pen in Field Notes Cherry Wood edition.)